My Life as Emperor, by Su Tong

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Translated by Howard Goldblatt Written on the front cover,   "by the author of Raise the Red Lantern and Rice" and another remark at the back flip,  "the title story of which was made into Oscar-nominated film by Zhang Yimau" WHO DOESN'T WANT TO READ THIS!! "The sun, like a broken egg yolk, hung suspended behind the summit of Brass Rule Mountain on the frost-laden morning the Imperial father passed away." What an opening! I just borrow this book from the state library, found it from the biography section - the genre I used to read (and own) most. I am not a novel person, but used to read Chinese classic novel before, and loving it. I guess, this book shall serve both purpose - and an away from the (some people says a boring) -self-help genre I mainly read at all time I will share interesting snapshots soon ;) -------------- 7/4/2012: PART ONE Death of father I despised the dead man, even though he is my father and has ruled the Xie Empire for 30 years.  Duanbai - the new Emperor at age of 14 Suddenly I heard the Funerian speak my name, the gravity of his voice deepening~ Fifth son Duanbai, succeeds to the throne as Emperor of Xie. Hostility  The sons of my stepmother stood behind me, and when I turned to look at them, I was confronted by what seemed to be looks of hostility. Why were they always looking at me like that?  Enemy Who wants to see me dead? ~Your enemy Who is my enemy? ~See for yourselves, whoever is hiding farthest from you is your enemy Cricket Jar The serving girls returned with my darling little cricket cage. and for many nights after that I fell asleep listening to the crisp cries of black-winged cricket.  Juekong - Child Mentor The smile on his face was as serene and beautic as ever. I watched as he took the copy of The Analects out of his sleeve. You have not read these all way through, he said. Juekong left His hands shook as he handed me the book. I knew that the man was about to leave me, and I am powerless to stop him. Where will you go? I shouted at this retreating back. ~ To Bitter Bamboo Monastery.  Old Sun Xin - the spell I knew he is a mad man, others wanted to drive him out of the palace but I stopped them. For not only I was fond of the man, I was equally fond of his repeating inauspicious incantation - The fire is out, and calamity will soon befall the Xie Empire Emperor's child dream - a Tightrope Walker "Walking a tightrope is more impressive than being Emperor of Xie. Now that is a job for a true hero. I was struck by the vast differences between the tightrope walker and me. I don't want to be Emperor. I want to be a tightrope walker" Swallow - Dutiful and obedient servant, buddy and lifetime friend.  What is your name ~Swallow How old are you ~12. I was born in the year of the ram I wanted you to sleep by my bed, then whispered in his ears: we can be playmates Kill is power  Is there anyone you want killed Swallow? ~ I don't want anyone to die, then said " Your majesty, let's go play cat's cradle" Duanwen and Duanwu - allianced brother The great general Duanwen  reached the city gate , where he is greeted by an explosion of firecrackers and musical welcome. Doubtless, this has been arranged by his brother, Duanwu who leaped to the ground from his carriage, running toward the brother and shouting the whole way. The sight of them embracing amid loud wails at the city gate had people sighing tearfully for a very long time. In me it created a profound sense of loss. Duanwen is not my brother. I had ministers and subjects, but no brothers. Madame Yang - a stepmother You are not the rightful emperor of Xie, my son Duanwen is the true Emperor Madame Huangfu -powerful grandmother, the master-mind Her swaying head signified appreciation of the royal wedding she had engineered. Poor Duanwen, he's marring a cross-eyed girl . PART TWO Lady Hui - a concubine and true love She was clever, intelligent and quick-witted. A women of ethereal beauty and celestial fragrance. The birds have flown away, I said, somewhat puzzled. Her arrival has frightened off all the palace birds. Emperor Marriage Even the common citizens of the empire Xie knew the political advantages to be had by my taking a girl from the empire of Peng as Empress. I received word that Princess Wanda was a young woman of mediocre look and eccentric behaviour, and that she was three years older. I spotted several eunuchs and palace girls chattering, their faces adorned with silly grins. I forbid them to laugh, I said to Swallow. Slap the face of anyone who laughs. No one is to laugh for three days. Swallow did as I commanded, reporting more than seventy laughing palace denizens were slapped. So many that his arm was sore. Lady Hui is alone The Empress and concubines formed alliances almost immediately, all of them except Lady Hui. I afraid she is a bird that has landed on the wrong perch, and sooner or later she will be knocked down into the mud  Lady Hui is pregnant You are 3 months pregnant. Why did not you tell me ~Your lowly servant is afraid. They have never approved me, so how could they let me be the first to carry a dragon child?  Lady Hui miscarriage plot A shocking news emerged: Lady Hui pregnant all these while had miscarriage in the night, and the dead foetus was a snowy white fox. ~They have been planning for a long time, she said. Lady Hui escape And it was early that same morning that Lady Hui, in the disguise of a palace eunuch, slipped out to the outside world. I am going to a Buddhist convent. Did she really take nothing with her? ~Only a gilded makeup box that held sheets of poems. I assume they were the poem your Majesty wrote to her.  Madame Huangfu on deathbed Madame Huangfu raised her hand slowly to caress my forehead and cheeks. Then pulled back and began tugging at a sachet at her waist. I have worn this sachet these past 8 years, she said in smile. The time has come to give it to you. cut it open and see what it holds. The edict, in the late emperor's own hand, read: My eldest son Duanwen is to succeed me as ruler of the Xie Empire. Calamity befall the Xie Empire Now the empire has undergone great changes, chaos reigns among the populace, and it's too late to do anything about it. I don't have to be told that a sword aimed at my neck is inching, and All I can do is sit around and sign. Tell me Swallow, just what kind of dog-shit Xie Emperor I am? Duanwen forehead spells "Xie Emperor" An unanticipated indecent has occurred near the marketplace. An old beggar known for roaming the cities streets in tattered materialised in front of Duanwen's horse, reach out with a cane he used to ward off dogs, and flicked the black cloth off Duanwen;s face. It happened so fast that it caught everyone by surprise. People discovered 2 words has been tattooed on his pale forehead, which was exposed in the sunlight: Xie Emperor Duanwen on the run ..search the cities for 2 days and 2 nights , without finding the trace of Duanwen. Two guards entered the tunnel with torches. The torn of the sleeve hung from a branch of a tree, they saw 2 lines of writing in blood: The day Duanwen returns to the capital will mark the extinction of Duanbai Tightrope walker and a Log Balancer Swallow stood in the darkness, i could hear his sobs like those of a weeping women. I knew he understood my fear and sadness.  If I could somehow leave the Xie Palace alive, Swallow guess what I'd do out there ~ you would go looking for the Pinzhou circus and become a tight roper walker. Yes ~If Your majesty become a tightrope walker, your slave would become a log balancer I threw my arms around Swallow's shoulder and held him tight. On that inauspiciously stormy night, a eunuch of low birth and I held each other in our arms and cried in sorrowful anticipation of the end of 8 years as Emperor, even before it occurred. Calamity befall the Xie Empire My favorite general Ji Zhang was knocked from his horse of Duanwen's Thunder Lance. My mother Madame Meng carry strips of white silks. There is no need to explain the ritual of of presenting hanging silks to women by the Emperor. Madame Meng personally watched as Ladies Lan and Yun hanged themselves from the rafters. Duanwen, you are the Xie Emperor I met my half brother Duanwen once more under the palace walls after the passage of eight years.  You are the Xie Emperor, I said Duanwen laughed loudly and knowingly. Can you see what is written on my forehead. So now you are the last to see it. So who is the true Emperor of Xie Emperor You are the Xie Emperor, I said Emperor says good bye to Xie Empire I stood on Swallow's soft shoulder, rose up like a torn and tattered flag and slowly distancing myself from the place where I'd lived for 20 years. Grass growing wild atop the palace wall covered my hands, its sharp edges cutting into skin. PART THREE Emperor - the commoner In that hot, muggy summer I began life as a commoner. No one recognised me. Who could have imagined that a young  merchant wearing a conical bamboo hat was in fact the deposed Xie Emperor? When we reached a hill five li north, I turned to look back at the Xie Palace - The majestic imposing home of emperors was nothing but an empty yellow shell, blurry as a mirage, calling forth illusory memories Heading Swallow's parents hometown Nameless lumps appear on my arms and legs itched horribly. Everyday Swallow applied a liquefied solution of plantain seed to the affected areas. All parts of heavens plan, even the fleas are joining forces to humiliate me.  Swallow said nothing. You know, you can humiliate me if you wanted to, I said as I grabbed his hand and fixed him with hard stare. So why don't you? Still he said nothing Highwayman took everything except the Analects To me the trauma of the robbery was like adding frost to snow, no more than that. But to Swallow, it was an attack of mortal dimensions. What am I supposed to give my parents as a sign of filial respect? what am I suppose to use to buy a house and land? How am I going to take care of you Your Majesty? The Analects I slowly retrieved the pages, knowing it could serve no practical purpose in my life as commoner, but Heaven had made it know to me that I must carry it with me whenever my exile took me Father it's me, Swallow Father, your Swallow has come home. You are not my Swallow. My son is serving the Emperor in the Xie Palace. Everyone said you would return home in fancy clothes, buy some land and built a house, repair the family grave sites and erect a temple. How come someone in rages and covered in dirt be my son Swallow? Swallow womanish suicide attempt. Who are you anyway? the old blacksmith said. My son isn't your woman, is he? The way you two together disgusts me. A fortune teller detect the air of an emperor I walked up and down the street, looking for a pawnshop, but a fortune teller informed that there isn't any in the country. I showed him the panther-shape pendant I wore around my neck. Where did you come across such a rare and precious jade ornament, Sir?How much do you want for it sir? Not much, enough to cover my travelling expenses. Where are you going? I am looking for a travelling circus from down south. Have you seen anyone pass through here? You are no circus performer. How is it that from what i see, I detect the air of an emperor? . . I know who you are, he said. You are the deposed Xie Emperor. Emperor continues journey on own to Pinzhou to reach his dream to be a tightrope walker I had no experience dealing with ordinary people. It was going to be a problem, since I have abandoned my loyal swallow back at the blacksmith shop Calamity befall the Xie Empire I dimly heard some out-of-towners that Duanwen has  beheaded Zhoayang the very day he ascended the throne - he cannot share the crown with Zhoayang, as I predicted. The battle had raged in town for eleven days, between the forces of the new Xie Emperor and those of the sons of Duke Zhoayang. The bodies of thousands of dead soldiers were simply stacked up in the streets.  Reunion with Lady Hui I heard a door crack open behind me and was a lovely, heavily made-up prostitute poke her head out and fix me with unblinking eyes. Do you recognise me your Majesty. I am not a ghost. Come she said let me serve you as i did in the Xie Palace. I don't want your money. It was Lady Hui the girl whose soul is linked to mine, the one who had filled my dreams.  . . When i left the palace i cried until I had no more tears to shed. Your majesty, now should do nothing to bring me sorrow anew.  It was this enmity that would spur me to depart without saying good-bye, to quietly leave Lady Hui, now a prostitute, and the folded airs of the Charming Phoenix Emperor has nowhere to go; Pinzhou hit by plague The bodies decomposed and began to stink, and the towns flies  and rats made playground out of the exposed bellies. Birds began flocking into tow, the plague broke out. Why didn't you leave when you had a chance? The young man bit his lips and said. My mother wouldn't let me. She said, if we re all to die, we die as a family This time Fate had stopped me from visiting Pinzhou and now, after travelling all summer, I had no where to go.  Emperor found sign of travelling circus I stumbled upon signs that a travelling circus had been there. I walked up to a fruit peddler. He then pointed south and said " they said they had to head south" Do you like tightrope walkers? Remember this: One day I will be the most famous tightrope walker in the world.  Reunion with Swallow My loyal slave Swallow appeared before me along with the light of early dawn.  How did you find me By the smell of your majesty's body. Does you Majesty think I am some sort of dogs.  I took Swallow in my arms. His clothes were rags and he was wet from head to toe. The master-slave relationship between us had vanished onto thin air. Now we were like a pair of brothers in difficult straits, our fates bound up together Making Tightrope walker and a Log balancer into reality Do you see those trees. Heaven has bestowed then on me as the nest tightrope anchors. All you need to do is to find a length of rope the thickness of my thumb, and tomorrow my practise will begin . . I climbed the jujube tree and take my first step out onto the swaying rope, stretched high up in the air. I promptly thudded to the ground. A sleepy eyed little girl, Jade locket stood in the doorway watching my earliest attempts. She clapped her hands and giggled. She turned and ran inside, "daddy what he is doing out there?" Emperor is now a tightrope walker I knew only up there could i confidently scorn all living things below me once again; only then was I the master of my own fate.  One drizzly morning, I walked effortlessly from one end of the rope to the other. Finally i could fly like a bird.  Watch me all of you, watch me I shouted at the people below. Who I am? I am not the Xie Emperor. I am a tight rope walker. Emperor of the tightrope walker. Jade Locket. Jade locket turned 8 that year. She looked like a red lotus flower about to open its petal as it flated on the surface of a pond. Whenever I began to sway back and forth on my tight rope, I could hear Jade Locket's thin shriek. She reminded me of Lady Hui when she first entered the palace. Jade locket seemed to draw to Swallow and began pestering him to teach her log balancing, when no one is looking. The girl had natural talent and light as feather. Emperor bought Jade Locket. All right, I ll get your fifty taels of silver, I said as I walked over and picked up Jade Locket. I dried her tears and handed her to Swallow. Hold her I said to Swallow. Shes a member of our circus troupe. This poor child now has a proper future. Tightrope Emperor Travelling Circus. We struck out ahead  of schedule onto the path of circus performances, the three of us - me, Swallow and the 8 years old Jade Locket, carried a rope, two logs and headed for the country's heartland as the beginning of what later to known far and wide as the Tightrope Emperor Travelling Circus. It was unexpectedly successful. The crowd kept shouting its approval. When I performed the crane stance on the tight rope, the roar is like thunder and pounding rains.  By the spring of the following year, our troupe had expanded to include 18 performers with 20 separate skills. I was the Emperor of tightrope I was a bird Emperor looking for Lady Hui I asked if he knew where Lady Hui has gone she has gone to the capital , where she earns more money than she ever could here. Everyone says she making a killing with her body. Do you know, she mastered secrets skills known only in the palace in order to serve the Emperor  That was my deepest wishes. My beautiful unlucky Lady Hui  had already transformed into a free flying white bird. We had reached the same goal by different routes.  Back to the capital of Xie We have seen that the the black panther banner of Xie had been torn down, replaced by the blue double eagle flag of the Peng empire.  Don't you know that the peng soldiers has occupied the city? do you know why peng soldiers let us into the city? They probably saw us a travelling circus and want us to put on a show for them No, it is an invitation to death. Last Word from Swallow I recall Swallow pushed me into a haystack. Don't be afraid jade locket, I ll hide you in this big vat. Those were the last worked I heard from swallow.  Swallow and Jade locket and 15 members of troupe are dead I was unable to pick swallow's death screams out of others. I had finally lost the loyal slave that Heaven had sent down for me.  I recalled he had said I will die for you your majesty.. Why had the invitation to death excluded me and me alone? Calamity befall the Xie Empire The Peng soldier has torched the Xie Palace.The sea of fire engulfed the place I was born and grew up.Xie empire is no longer exist and the name of capital has changed by the Peng ruler to Changzhou. The sixth Xie Emperor, Duanwen died in flames that consumed the palace. He had sat on the throne for only seven months, the shortest reign in the history of the line and the unluckiest. It was his aloof arrogance, his imperiousness and unshakable self confidence threat consigned a beautiful empire to history;s graveyard. Hundred members of the imperial family and their offspring were slaughtered . The sole survivor, the fifth emperor Duanbai who had fallen to the degraded status of commoner,and who made his living as an itinerant tightrope walker. Prince Duanwe also died in the conflagration of the Xie Palace.  Cricket jar I wondered amid the ruins of the Xie Palace like an orphaned spirit. I saw a boy squatting on the ground, digging in the ground for something.  what have you found after this digging ~a cricket jar what else ~birdcages.who are you, why aren't you digging  I am the one who hid those things i replied softly The burial  I buried Swallow and Locket Jade together in the deepest and largest hole. By the time the last spadeful of wet earth covered Swallow's ashen face and the balancing log in Jade Locke's hands, I collapsed like a toppled Wall, totally spent. With Swallow dead, I was truly a man alone. I lay down on Swallow and Jade Lockets grave and slept. The sky and I were so close that I had one dream after another about birds. The sky I dreamt about was transparent and boundless. All the birds I dreamt about flew into that sky. I dream of a new world. The Analects In all the years had passed I don't interest in studying the Analects. my feeling was so ling as it didn't end my life with this rope around my neck. I d fine some time one day to finish reading the Analects.  Lady Hui The last time i saw lady hui was in the changzhou secondhand market. Ratty hair, grimy face,muttering constantly - was a sign of madness or not. She is selling some colourful finely trimmed slips of papers with poems written to the passersby. Authentic love poems written by the fifth emperor of Xie. Odour seemed to float above the street on that afternoon, and i knew that could have come from the peotry slips she was tring to sell, not from the body of that ill-fated prostitute. That was the last day I spent on the city The next day I joined a line of salt porters on my way out of the city of sadness. Bitter Bamboo Monastery on bitter bamboo mountain By the time i made roundabout way to bitter bamboo mountain, Joukong had already passed from this realm. Jeukong arrived here 8 years before me, he planted a rice paddy and a vegetable gardens and had spent 3 years slowly building the so called bitter bamboo monastery He left me an empty mountain monastery and a weed-infested vegetable garden. I found a wolf-hair writing brush with which i had practise calligraphy as a boy in the palace. All this indicated that Jue kong had waited for me those 8 years. Bitter bamboo mountain gradually became a site of bustling activity. late arrivals built houses at the foot of the mountain, and on clear morning they have clear view of bitter bamboo monastery midway up the mountain. They can see strange monk standing on a rope strung between 2 pine trees. either walking rapidly or striking a one-legged crane pose. The Analects Many nights I have been studying the Analects. sometimes i feel that this sagely book holds all the wisdom of the world; sometimes i don't get anything at all out  of it. --- The (sad) End

Translated by Howard Goldblatt

Written on the front cover,

  "by the author of Raise the Red Lantern and Rice"

and another remark at the back flip,

 "the title story of which was made into Oscar-nominated film by Zhang Yimau"

WHO DOESN'T WANT TO READ THIS!!

"The sun, like a broken egg yolk, hung suspended behind the summit of Brass Rule Mountain on the frost-laden morning the Imperial father passed away."

What an opening!

I just borrow this book from the state library, found it from the biography section - the genre I used to read (and own) most. I am not a novel person, but used to read Chinese classic novel before, and loving it. I guess, this book shall serve both purpose - and an away from the (some people says a boring) -self-help genre I mainly read at all time

I will share interesting snapshots soon ;)

--------------

7/4/2012:

PART ONE

Death of father

I despised the dead man, even though he is my father and has ruled the Xie Empire for 30 years. 

Duanbai - the new Emperor at age of 14

Suddenly I heard the Funerian speak my name, the gravity of his voice deepening~ Fifth son Duanbai, succeeds to the throne as Emperor of Xie.

Hostility 

The sons of my stepmother stood behind me, and when I turned to look at them, I was confronted by what seemed to be looks of hostility. Why were they always looking at me like that? 

Enemy

Who wants to see me dead?

~Your enemy

Who is my enemy?

~See for yourselves, whoever is hiding farthest from you is your enemy

Cricket Jar

The serving girls returned with my darling little cricket cage. and for many nights after that I fell asleep listening to the crisp cries of black-winged cricket. 

Juekong - Child Mentor

The smile on his face was as serene and beautic as ever. I watched as he took the copy of The Analects out of his sleeve.

You have not read these all way through, he said.

Juekong left

His hands shook as he handed me the book. I knew that the man was about to leave me, and I am powerless to stop him.

Where will you go? I shouted at this retreating back.

~ To Bitter Bamboo Monastery. 

Old Sun Xin - the spell

I knew he is a mad man, others wanted to drive him out of the palace but I stopped them. For not only I was fond of the man, I was equally fond of his repeating inauspicious incantation

- The fire is out, and calamity will soon befall the Xie Empire

Emperor's child dream - a Tightrope Walker

"Walking a tightrope is more impressive than being Emperor of Xie. Now that is a job for a true hero. I was struck by the vast differences between the tightrope walker and me. I don't want to be Emperor. I want to be a tightrope walker"

Swallow - Dutiful and obedient servant, buddy and lifetime friend. 

What is your name

~Swallow

How old are you

~12. I was born in the year of the ram

I wanted you to sleep by my bed, then whispered in his ears: we can be playmates

Kill is power

 Is there anyone you want killed Swallow?

~ I don't want anyone to die, then said " Your majesty, let's go play cat's cradle"

Duanwen and Duanwu - allianced brother

The great general Duanwen  reached the city gate , where he is greeted by an explosion of firecrackers and musical welcome. Doubtless, this has been arranged by his brother, Duanwu who leaped to the ground from his carriage, running toward the brother and shouting the whole way. The sight of them embracing amid loud wails at the city gate had people sighing tearfully for a very long time. In me it created a profound sense of loss. Duanwen is not my brother. I had ministers and subjects, but no brothers.

Madame Yang - a stepmother

You are not the rightful emperor of Xie, my son Duanwen is the true Emperor

Madame Huangfu -powerful grandmother, the master-mind

Her swaying head signified appreciation of the royal wedding she had engineered. Poor Duanwen, he's marring a cross-eyed girl .

PART TWO

Lady Hui - a concubine and true love

She was clever, intelligent and quick-witted. A women of ethereal beauty and celestial fragrance. The birds have flown away, I said, somewhat puzzled. Her arrival has frightened off all the palace birds.

Emperor Marriage

Even the common citizens of the empire Xie knew the political advantages to be had by my taking a girl from the empire of Peng as Empress. I received word that Princess Wanda was a young woman of mediocre look and eccentric behaviour, and that she was three years older. I spotted several eunuchs and palace girls chattering, their faces adorned with silly grins.

I forbid them to laugh, I said to Swallow. Slap the face of anyone who laughs. No one is to laugh for three days.

Swallow did as I commanded, reporting more than seventy laughing palace denizens were slapped. So many that his arm was sore.

Lady Hui is alone

The Empress and concubines formed alliances almost immediately, all of them except Lady Hui. I afraid she is a bird that has landed on the wrong perch, and sooner or later she will be knocked down into the mud

 Lady Hui is pregnant

You are 3 months pregnant. Why did not you tell me

~Your lowly servant is afraid. They have never approved me, so how could they let me be the first to carry a dragon child? 

Lady Hui miscarriage plot

A shocking news emerged: Lady Hui pregnant all these while had miscarriage in the night, and the dead foetus was a snowy white fox.

~They have been planning for a long time, she said.

Lady Hui escape

And it was early that same morning that Lady Hui, in the disguise of a palace eunuch, slipped out to the outside world. I am going to a Buddhist convent.

Did she really take nothing with her?

~Only a gilded makeup box that held sheets of poems. I assume they were the poem your Majesty wrote to her. 

Madame Huangfu on deathbed

Madame Huangfu raised her hand slowly to caress my forehead and cheeks. Then pulled back and began tugging at a sachet at her waist.

I have worn this sachet these past 8 years, she said in smile. The time has come to give it to you. cut it open and see what it holds.

The edict, in the late emperor's own hand, read:

My eldest son Duanwen is to succeed me as ruler of the Xie Empire.

Calamity befall the Xie Empire

Now the empire has undergone great changes, chaos reigns among the populace, and it's too late to do anything about it.

I don't have to be told that a sword aimed at my neck is inching, and All I can do is sit around and sign. Tell me Swallow, just what kind of dog-shit Xie Emperor I am?

Duanwen forehead spells "Xie Emperor"

An unanticipated indecent has occurred near the marketplace. An old beggar known for roaming the cities streets in tattered materialised in front of Duanwen's horse, reach out with a cane he used to ward off dogs, and flicked the black cloth off Duanwen;s face. It happened so fast that it caught everyone by surprise. People discovered 2 words has been tattooed on his pale forehead, which was exposed in the sunlight:

Xie Emperor

Duanwen on the run

..search the cities for 2 days and 2 nights , without finding the trace of Duanwen. Two guards entered the tunnel with torches. The torn of the sleeve hung from a branch of a tree, they saw 2 lines of writing in blood:

The day Duanwen returns to the capital will mark the extinction of Duanbai

Tightrope walker and a Log Balancer

Swallow stood in the darkness, i could hear his sobs like those of a weeping women. I knew he understood my fear and sadness. 

If I could somehow leave the Xie Palace alive, Swallow guess what I'd do out there

~ you would go looking for the Pinzhou circus and become a tight roper walker.

Yes

~If Your majesty become a tightrope walker, your slave would become a log balancer

I threw my arms around Swallow's shoulder and held him tight. On that inauspiciously stormy night, a eunuch of low birth and I held each other in our arms and cried in sorrowful anticipation of the end of 8 years as Emperor, even before it occurred.

Calamity befall the Xie Empire

My favorite general Ji Zhang was knocked from his horse of Duanwen's Thunder Lance. My mother Madame Meng carry strips of white silks. There is no need to explain the ritual of of presenting hanging silks to women by the Emperor. Madame Meng personally watched as Ladies Lan and Yun hanged themselves from the rafters.

Duanwen, you are the Xie Emperor

I met my half brother Duanwen once more under the palace walls after the passage of eight years. 

You are the Xie Emperor, I said

Duanwen laughed loudly and knowingly.

Can you see what is written on my forehead. So now you are the last to see it. So who is the true Emperor of Xie Emperor

You are the Xie Emperor, I said

Emperor says good bye to Xie Empire

I stood on Swallow's soft shoulder, rose up like a torn and tattered flag and slowly distancing myself from the place where I'd lived for 20 years. Grass growing wild atop the palace wall covered my hands, its sharp edges cutting into skin.

PART THREE

Emperor - the commoner

In that hot, muggy summer I began life as a commoner. No one recognised me. Who could have imagined that a young  merchant wearing a conical bamboo hat was in fact the deposed Xie Emperor? When we reached a hill five li north, I turned to look back at the Xie Palace - The majestic imposing home of emperors was nothing but an empty yellow shell, blurry as a mirage, calling forth illusory memories

Heading Swallow's parents hometown

Nameless lumps appear on my arms and legs itched horribly. Everyday Swallow applied a liquefied solution of plantain seed to the affected areas.

All parts of heavens plan, even the fleas are joining forces to humiliate me. 

Swallow said nothing.

You know, you can humiliate me if you wanted to, I said as I grabbed his hand and fixed him with hard stare. So why don't you?

Still he said nothing

Highwayman took everything except the Analects

To me the trauma of the robbery was like adding frost to snow, no more than that. But to Swallow, it was an attack of mortal dimensions.

What am I supposed to give my parents as a sign of filial respect? what am I suppose to use to buy a house and land? How am I going to take care of you Your Majesty?

The Analects

I slowly retrieved the pages, knowing it could serve no practical purpose in my life as commoner, but Heaven had made it know to me that I must carry it with me whenever my exile took me

Father it's me, Swallow

Father, your Swallow has come home.
You are not my Swallow. My son is serving the Emperor in the Xie Palace. Everyone said you would return home in fancy clothes, buy some land and built a house, repair the family grave sites and erect a temple. How come someone in rages and covered in dirt be my son Swallow?

Swallow womanish suicide attempt.

Who are you anyway? the old blacksmith said. My son isn't your woman, is he? The way you two together disgusts me.

A fortune teller detect the air of an emperor

I walked up and down the street, looking for a pawnshop, but a fortune teller informed that there isn't any in the country. I showed him the panther-shape pendant I wore around my neck.

Where did you come across such a rare and precious jade ornament, Sir?How much do you want for it sir?

Not much, enough to cover my travelling expenses.

Where are you going?

I am looking for a travelling circus from down south. Have you seen anyone pass through here?

You are no circus performer. How is it that from what i see, I detect the air of an emperor?

.

.

I know who you are, he said. You are the deposed Xie Emperor.

Emperor continues journey on own to Pinzhou to reach his dream to be a tightrope walker

I had no experience dealing with ordinary people. It was going to be a problem, since I have abandoned my loyal swallow back at the blacksmith shop

Calamity befall the Xie Empire

I dimly heard some out-of-towners that Duanwen has  beheaded Zhoayang the very day he ascended the throne - he cannot share the crown with Zhoayang, as I predicted. The battle had raged in town for eleven days, between the forces of the new Xie Emperor and those of the sons of Duke Zhoayang. The bodies of thousands of dead soldiers were simply stacked up in the streets. 

Reunion with Lady Hui

I heard a door crack open behind me and was a lovely, heavily made-up prostitute poke her head out and fix me with unblinking eyes.

Do you recognise me your Majesty. I am not a ghost. Come she said let me serve you as i did in the Xie Palace. I don't want your money.

It was Lady Hui the girl whose soul is linked to mine, the one who had filled my dreams. 

.

.

When i left the palace i cried until I had no more tears to shed. Your majesty, now should do nothing to bring me sorrow anew.

 It was this enmity that would spur me to depart without saying good-bye, to quietly leave Lady Hui, now a prostitute, and the folded airs of the Charming Phoenix

Emperor has nowhere to go; Pinzhou hit by plague

The bodies decomposed and began to stink, and the towns flies  and rats made playground out of the exposed bellies. Birds began flocking into tow, the plague broke out.

Why didn't you leave when you had a chance?

The young man bit his lips and said.

My mother wouldn't let me. She said, if we re all to die, we die as a family

This time Fate had stopped me from visiting Pinzhou and now, after travelling all summer, I had no where to go. 

Emperor found sign of travelling circus

I stumbled upon signs that a travelling circus had been there. I walked up to a fruit peddler. He then pointed south and said

" they said they had to head south"

Do you like tightrope walkers?

Remember this: One day I will be the most famous tightrope walker in the world. 

Reunion with Swallow

My loyal slave Swallow appeared before me along with the light of early dawn. 

How did you find me

By the smell of your majesty's body. Does you Majesty think I am some sort of dogs. 

I took Swallow in my arms. His clothes were rags and he was wet from head to toe. The master-slave relationship between us had vanished onto thin air. Now we were like a pair of brothers in difficult straits, our fates bound up together

Making Tightrope walker and a Log balancer into reality

Do you see those trees. Heaven has bestowed then on me as the nest tightrope anchors. All you need to do is to find a length of rope the thickness of my thumb, and tomorrow my practise will begin

.

.

I climbed the jujube tree and take my first step out onto the swaying rope, stretched high up in the air. I promptly thudded to the ground. A sleepy eyed little girl, Jade locket stood in the doorway watching my earliest attempts. She clapped her hands and giggled. She turned and ran inside,

"daddy what he is doing out there?"

Emperor is now a tightrope walker

I knew only up there could i confidently scorn all living things below me once again; only then was I the master of my own fate. 

One drizzly morning, I walked effortlessly from one end of the rope to the other. Finally i could fly like a bird. 

Watch me all of you, watch me I shouted at the people below. Who I am? I am not the Xie Emperor. I am a tight rope walker. Emperor of the tightrope walker.

Jade Locket.

Jade locket turned 8 that year. She looked like a red lotus flower about to open its petal as it flated on the surface of a pond. Whenever I began to sway back and forth on my tight rope, I could hear Jade Locket's thin shriek. She reminded me of Lady Hui when she first entered the palace.

Jade locket seemed to draw to Swallow and began pestering him to teach her log balancing, when no one is looking. The girl had natural talent and light as feather.

Emperor bought Jade Locket.

All right, I ll get your fifty taels of silver, I said as I walked over and picked up Jade Locket. I dried her tears and handed her to Swallow.

Hold her I said to Swallow. Shes a member of our circus troupe. This poor child now has a proper future.

Tightrope Emperor Travelling Circus.

We struck out ahead  of schedule onto the path of circus performances, the three of us - me, Swallow and the 8 years old Jade Locket, carried a rope, two logs and headed for the country's heartland as the beginning of what later to known far and wide as the Tightrope Emperor Travelling Circus.

It was unexpectedly successful. The crowd kept shouting its approval. When I performed the crane stance on the tight rope, the roar is like thunder and pounding rains.  By the spring of the following year, our troupe had expanded to include 18 performers with 20 separate skills.

I was the Emperor of tightrope

I was a bird

Emperor looking for Lady Hui

I asked if he knew where Lady Hui has gone

she has gone to the capital , where she earns more money than she ever could here. Everyone says she making a killing with her body. Do you know, she mastered secrets skills known only in the palace in order to serve the Emperor

 That was my deepest wishes. My beautiful unlucky Lady Hui  had already transformed into a free flying white bird. We had reached the same goal by different routes. 

Back to the capital of Xie

We have seen that the the black panther banner of Xie had been torn down, replaced by the blue double eagle flag of the Peng empire. 

Don't you know that the peng soldiers has occupied the city?

do you know why peng soldiers let us into the city?

They probably saw us a travelling circus and want us to put on a show for them

No, it is an invitation to death.

Last Word from Swallow

I recall Swallow pushed me into a haystack.

Don't be afraid jade locket, I ll hide you in this big vat.

Those were the last worked I heard from swallow. 

Swallow and Jade locket and 15 members of troupe are dead

I was unable to pick swallow's death screams out of others. I had finally lost the loyal slave that Heaven had sent down for me.  I recalled he had said

I will die for you your majesty..

Why had the invitation to death excluded me and me alone?

Calamity befall the Xie Empire

The Peng soldier has torched the Xie Palace.The sea of fire engulfed the place I was born and grew up.Xie empire is no longer exist and the name of capital has changed by the Peng ruler to Changzhou.

The sixth Xie Emperor, Duanwen died in flames that consumed the palace. He had sat on the throne for only seven months, the shortest reign in the history of the line and the unluckiest. It was his aloof arrogance, his imperiousness and unshakable self confidence threat consigned a beautiful empire to history;s graveyard. Hundred members of the imperial family and their offspring were slaughtered .

The sole survivor, the fifth emperor Duanbai who had fallen to the degraded status of commoner,and who made his living as an itinerant tightrope walker.

Prince Duanwe also died in the conflagration of the Xie Palace. 

Cricket jar

I wondered amid the ruins of the Xie Palace like an orphaned spirit. I saw a boy squatting on the ground, digging in the ground for something. 

what have you found after this digging

~a cricket jar

what else

~birdcages.who are you, why aren't you digging

 I am the one who hid those things i replied softly

The burial

 I buried Swallow and Locket Jade together in the deepest and largest hole. By the time the last spadeful of wet earth covered Swallow's ashen face and the balancing log in Jade Locke's hands, I collapsed like a toppled Wall, totally spent. With Swallow dead, I was truly a man alone. I lay down on Swallow and Jade Lockets grave and slept. The sky and I were so close that I had one dream after another about birds. The sky I dreamt about was transparent and boundless. All the birds I dreamt about flew into that sky. I dream of a new world.

The Analects

In all the years had passed I don't interest in studying the Analects. my feeling was so ling as it didn't end my life with this rope around my neck. I d fine some time one day to finish reading the Analects. 

Lady Hui

The last time i saw lady hui was in the changzhou secondhand market. Ratty hair, grimy face,muttering constantly - was a sign of madness or not. She is selling some colourful finely trimmed slips of papers with poems written to the passersby.

Authentic love poems written by the fifth emperor of Xie. Odour seemed to float above the street on that afternoon, and i knew that could have come from the peotry slips she was tring to sell, not from the body of that ill-fated prostitute. That was the last day I spent on the city The next day I joined a line of salt porters on my way out of the city of sadness.

Bitter Bamboo Monastery on bitter bamboo mountain

By the time i made roundabout way to bitter bamboo mountain, Joukong had already passed from this realm. Jeukong arrived here 8 years before me, he planted a rice paddy and a vegetable gardens and had spent 3 years slowly building the so called bitter bamboo monastery He left me an empty mountain monastery and a weed-infested vegetable garden.

I found a wolf-hair writing brush with which i had practise calligraphy as a boy in the palace. All this indicated that Jue kong had waited for me those 8 years.

Bitter bamboo mountain gradually became a site of bustling activity.

late arrivals built houses at the foot of the mountain, and on clear morning they have clear view of bitter bamboo monastery midway up the mountain. They can see strange monk standing on a rope strung between 2 pine trees. either walking rapidly or striking a one-legged crane pose.

The Analects

Many nights I have been studying the Analects. sometimes i feel that this sagely book holds all the wisdom of the world; sometimes i don't get anything at all out  of it.

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The (sad) End